coming back

Long time didnt write my blog already. I tried to write something on it many times, but at the end stopped without writing any words. hmm.. Want to tell what kind of stories of mine now?? Feeling??

What is my future? Work and get rich but loner forever or marry a guy and work as a housewife? I cant see my future, but i have a good time to imagine it, with the guy i love and a small kid name momo with me. Haha.. i know tat is what we call berangan-angan. LOL.. i do feel it will happen one day and hope it will really happen in the next 10 years, maybe 15 years.

If i fail to have that kind of life, means i ll be a loner with no people wants, maybe i ll jobless and poor also, so so so awesome life with freedom and nothing else. I dun like people control me doing this doing that but actually i hate alone. I wants attention, people feel im cool and quiet but i just duno what to tell. Why people cannot just say something first and not waiting me to start a conversation. haihhh.. maybe its call life. I surrender to u life.

I cannot deny the exist of fate, but i want to decide my own what i want to be. Wish me good luck.

在这四个月里，我的心情可以说是很复杂。让我领悟了在过去十八年来从来没有想过的事情。

人的生离死别是什么？当你处于激情时被逼分开，还是当某个人永远离开你？知道你在很远很远的地方，但是却感觉到你仿佛就在我身边。知道你不可能出现，但是偏偏你就到了。世事难料，什么是永远？

我说了很多很多的谎言，大部分都是在骗自己。假装的乐观，清楚一切都是不可能的。如果一切可以重来，我希望我们从来没有遇见。对不起。。我没有勇气说出所有。

Busy Busy Busy

I forget what was my last time writing blog.. err.... 1 month ago?? haha... at least i didnt abandon it.. i'm busy now by the way but just too much thing to do, i don't know want to start from where.. So pass here by to write something..

Exam will be coming soon, all the C1 lizard gang will be seperated forever maybe, or even next time when we met we cnt so close like now. Last year 10-5-2010, we came to this hell and suck place. That time I curse this place until I syiok. Now march 2011, matrik life going to end this april, and i feel sad because i'm going to lost all the friends that i closed to here. Expecially Mee Teng, we are different course and we are hard to be in the same state also when we enter u. Wan Qi, Guat Ting and Win Inn i may meet them in Penang or Kedah, still gt chance to meet but just as i say just now, we wnt be as close as now. They may have their own friends and me too. This situation remember me something, as in graduation ceremony in Form 5, I never know the feeling of seperation because i know, i still can see my friends even we cannot meet each other in school. But nowthe situation is different, we can't meet each other again because we are not from the same course, state, and many many other. Wat can i do to keep connect with them is only FB and FB. Just....... 天下无不散之筵席, memory are not easy to erase or delete, I will definately miss life here. This place give me the feeling of hate, love, miss, sad, angry, and happy.

Is it that when someone busy will write more, i should be writing my essay now, not writing blog. Erm, time to leave. Bye bye..

Short Holiday

Matric have a very short holiday.. This year i can only stay at home for 4 days only, and the last day will spend in bus. == sien loh when i think of the journey back to kns (kmns). LOL!!!!

how much will i gt this year?? sure the least in these 19 years.. haha.. but i dun mind how many i'll gt d lah.. angpau is just a symbol..

kmns dun have any cny feel.. but my classmate and roomate and even kuliahmate they all want to get mandarin oranges and angpau from me.. i really speechless.... == i havent marry yet, how can give angpau wor?? it is more ridiculous when some ppl ask me to get from my mum then give them, some ask me to marry now.. -- stupid loh these ideas..... haha.. but oranges i will gv lah.. i oso cnt finish these oranges in home..

no title

mid sem break was over and i'm waiting for the coming cny holiday.. haha.. although i know i'll be very busy in that holiday but i really hope that i can enjoy the busy life and forget about something, something i do not want to admit, something that i know it is wrong. ==

I like this song recently: (is a translation from a korea song)

究竟还得独自注视着你多久
这像风一般的爱情
这像是谎言的爱情
还得持续多久 你才能爱我
Oh…
只要稍稍走近你
只要靠近你一步
就会后退两步的你
这样的爱着你的我
现在就在你身旁
那个男人哭泣着

I'm addicted to secret garden ost d.. == expecially this song, seem like it is describing someone i know. and i feel that girl in the song know that that guy loves her. == hehe.. common sense..

Account students nid to sell thing this sem. unfortunately, i have 3 account roommate, they keep on asking me to buy their thing. haihh... y i so pity to have 3 account roommate together?? and they are not so creative, all is choc, cookies, brownie, cupcake and nothing else. u all didnt boring i oso boring lah.. ==

That's all, no mood to write anymore..

A Funny Kacau Message....

two days ago, i received messages from unknown person. Content like that:

U: haha..... i love u.

(i didnt reply this message) a moment later,

U: vern, seriously, do you accept me?

(I was shocked because this person knows my name and i have no idea about him/her, then i reply)

M: 你是谁？我可以知道你是谁吗？

U: 暗恋你的人，我们每天见面，但只是擦肩而过。

M: 哇，原来我的行情酱好，可以知道你贵姓吗？

U: 蛤？我是不是太迟了？我还有机会吗？

(Please lah, i duno who are u loh, idiot. i didn't replay this message oso.) few minutes later.

U: Vern...

M: I'm so stupid to reply ur message, u no nid exam i oso nid to exam lah.. dun play lah.

U: sorry i don't know u exam..

Haha.. u don't know i exam?? then how u c me everyday?? == stupid liar....

I oso dnt to to dig this person out. dun want to call oso. waste my money and time only. haha.. wait and c this person will message me again or not.. if too serious hor, i wnt hesitate to post the number on fb.. haha... c who die first....

Snowing in Pavillion

The day that I hoping for had been over, Christmas, the last holiday in this half sem. LOL!! I have shop 4 shopping complexes... Pavillion, Berjaya Times Square, Sungai Wang and Mid Valley!!! Haha... luckily i trained to walk long before, if not, i dun think i still can walk today... hahahaha...

Pavillion: The snowing is AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The white white snow falls from the roof and it is AMAZING!!!!!! The bubble like snow make me feel like in winter!!! haha.......

Although the snowing is just half an hour, i really enjoy it. Thank pavillion give me such a wonderful Christmas eve....

The second day was the day i spend the most money.. Shopping in times square and sungai wang kills me... i bought 2 skirt, 2 t-shirt, shoes, masks, and others lah, make me bleed for RM350... AIZZZZ........... i tried duno how many shirts and skirts..... but trying without buying is my biggest satisfaction...

Last day in KL- Mid valley!!!! Mid valley should be a good mall to shop, but because of we lack of time, we only shop a while only... aiya, should go there earlier!!! the bear bear there is awesomely big!!! There is a bear has at least have one storey tall!!!! but i didnt take that bear's photo.. sigh..... this is the rest big big bear...

Battle of the band

Tonight was a historical night of my life in KMNS.. Battle of the band!! wow~~~~~ my friend was in acapella and battle of the band final.. I wnt miss this opportunity to watch this kind of CONCERT lah...

But then I feel disappointed at the moment I sat down. The IRRITATING stuff halau us from the seat with the reason, boys and girls should sit seperately. == wei, tai lou, u do go to cinema before or not?? In the dark situation can sit wth guy but in the open space like that cannot lah... xiao eh... dun tell me u are religious and won't do any 苟且之事lah. come one, who are people that were caught by doing the THING leh?? == speechless.....

then nevermind lor, i change my seat loh.. at that time girls side do not have any seat already. then i go to move a chair to the centre to sit lor.. ko kong beh sai wor... that is the lorong for the VIP. wa..... vip walk half the DSG ah?? this time ko zai urged with them, but this time we success, we no nid to change my seat any more.. give u die if u ask us to change seat again!!!

And then the girls beside us whisper loudly:" mereka tak datang awal pun boleh duduk depan, kita datang awal awal untuk booking. and then say we are hiao cuz want to sit at the boy side.. walao, u pple more hiao lah.. when we arrive u oso havent reach yet loh.. u are the one booking the place meh?? luan luan luan... if u are not booking row by row we nid to sit at the boy side meh?? and the irritating stuff, dun ever let me recognise her again, i'll spit at your face!!!

And then the stupid that say us hiao one c guy come out from the stage with sunglasses start screaming... wa, handsome gila, kacak kacak!!! then i looked again again and again... feel that he is like a fly more loh.... LOL.. this kind of guy oso classified as handsome?? then they ko ka scream non stop..... come on lah.. stop screaming lah, my ear hurt d lah... tsk tsk tsk.. really never c handsome guy before...... ==

the band performance is OMG!!! noisy, ear hurting, and not nice at all..... == again....

it is really a terrible thing to held in school.. wow.. luckily no more next time, if not, u wnt c me there.. later ppl thought we go there ki hiao.....

I like truth, but sometimes truth is not as good as we imagine.. I duno lah, if u want to tell me something, tell me terus terang, maybe i wnt agree with u lah, but i prefer u tell me loh, better than i guess myself, cuz guessing can wrong one leh.. later i guess wrong liao ma wa ka ki paiseh nia... Give me signal oso useless lah, i'm kinda stupid with that signalsssssss........ although i'll gt wat u are showing but i can easily pretend do not know anything... haha... the funniest thing is thatv the U above dun have this blog address..... then i write oso cnt let U to c lah.. just aizzzzzz suak lah..... my words u never can get it lah....

18!!!

Haha... today my mood no more emo, just as ah zheng say, I'm ki kong because of the endless and pending homework............ and the useless and sucks training... waste me a lot of time...

I seriously think that my bad mood in these few days is because of my period..... Die liao loh, how ah?? I don't want every month like that loh,, suffering

de leh.... keep smiling:) yeah!! :( seriously lah... can anyone tell me a way to control my emotion?? I don't want it to control me again..

Bear bear collection!!! all the bears in my room gather together to chit chat.. haha...

..

And the birthday gift... thank for them who really put an effort

to make the DIY gift and the party..

Thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm 18 d!!!! haha...........

My Birthday

These year birthday is different from the previous one. Last time, I ate cake with my family at night and hanged out with friends in the day. This year, since stupid KMNS dun't allow us to go out during these weekend, then i have and must have my first and last and the only birthday here. My 18th birthday, I imagined it what will happen in this day before. But all thing out of my expected, i came to KMNS, unexpected; I can't go out during my birthday, unexpected; I left my home. unexpected; I left Penang, unexpected; I left my friends, unexpected; I met with friends in KMNS, unexpected... and so on unexpected things happen....

KMNS fellow gave me an expected SURPRISING BIRTHDAY PARTY. Lok Yee and I have the same birthday and we celebrated together. Honestly, both if us don't like too much of people celebrate with us. It is because it is really paiseh and quite weird when there are a lot of people that u are not really know them celebrate your birthday. == But luckily lah, only a few came this afternoon, not really paiseh and take a number of photo lah. I smiled till my mouth tired.. == But Lok Yee wasn't happy with that. And she created a lot of excuses to escape fro the party. When I knew there were a party like that for me, I did think to escape, but after that, I knew this is something that come frm their true heart, I can't disappoint them. And thay must be work hard for that. haha.. and finally i attend to receive the bless and wises from them.......

KMNS is in jungle and most kns place that i ever been before. Outside is raining heavily and cool, inside the hostel.... guess what, no water... big contra. sometime I'll have an idea to run to out to take shower in rain easier. I've been one week not bathe in C1 already. Yesterday, I took shower in C1 and the consequence was, I can only wash my hair, and the rest finish in C2, same as today..... I have nothing and no mood to critics this problem already. What can i show is ==, then say:"har, no water again ah............."

Dinner with a pack of instand mee sedap and an apple is the best combination I ever had before.. The apple is so hard and not delicious at all.. and the instant mee.. all is same flavour one, can't differentiate which one more delicious...

Lastly, I really don't know why whenever i write my blog, I'll be emo. Now again, no mood, the more i write, the worse my mood.... I forget what I say yesterday, emo not suit me, I find many excuses and blame the emo song I listen yesterday. Now, I'm not listening to any song. What makes me emo??

Emo not suit me!!!!

Tomorrow is my birthday. If it is last last year, i'll be very happy to receive wishes from all my friends and family. But since last year, I dun have such a desire to celebrate my birthday already. Maybe last year my birthday is during spm. This year is falls on Sunday, but our stupid kns KMNS dun allow us to go out this weekend. That means i have to celebrate my birthday alone in jungle. I'm not so happy with that, I have persuaded myself to cheer but my mood haven't come back. Emo keeps disturb me. I dun want to be an emo person. I'm an optimist and i dun really feel good today.

Yesterday, i told someone that emo not suit me. It's true because once i become emo, i'll feel very tortured and I feel like i can't breathe. I hate that side of me. That's why i choose to forget all the problems and avoid to face the problems. This is not me. I'm not like that. I must be something wrong already. But what is it?? I don't want to show this side to my friends. I smile in front of them but only i know that is not a sincere smile. It is fake!!!

Today, I did a stupid act. I went to the olahraga training and i thought that it would be useful for me to grab a pedal in mini kakom. But those crazy and stupid and hiao po sss keep on ki hiao there. The problem is we have to do together with them. I felt ashame with their and my act.. training training lah.. Why make it like dancing?? Is it really useful for us to get petal in mini kakom.. Please lah, dun act stupid anymore lah.. Luckily not many chinese saw that, if not I really have to dig a hole and hide inside... I felt like i want to explode already lah.. no mood to do my homework leh.... I know I must do it very fast because i run out of time....

KMNS dun have a nice spot to suicide, if not, many students will die here... cuz it is torturing and hectic... and the most important is the attitude ppl really beh tahan!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

STOP ME!!!

I know i am getting crazy recently. Usually, i can make up my mind very fast and do not hesitate to do a thing.... Recently, I seem to be very lazy to do a thing. I know what I should do now is quickly take out my tutorial ad finish it ASAP. But I can't do it. It is only a simple thing and i keep on waste my time... Help!!!! Who can come and slap me to wake me up??

And, I am boring to listen the gossip of me to somebodies else... == I'm sooooooooooooo surprised when I heard that i am on with somebody!!!!!! CRAZY!!! I do not even talk to him face to face nicely. WALAO, the people here really so free to gossip and create a story about me that I have no idea about it... Is it all mixed school like that?? Sometimes when people ask me, how are u with xxx, i really speechless and duno how to respond.

THE WHOLE WORLD LISTEN: I AM NOT DATING WITH ANYONE AND WILL NOT DO SO IN MY YEARS IN KMNS!!!!

C2P 的成绩放榜

昨天是Matrik 成绩放榜的大日子。每个人都带着忐忑不安的心情去礼堂拿成绩。当然我也不例外。先一天我还很很很紧张，怕说得不到4.00 的话前程都毁了。那时有很多传言说有多少人多少人的满4分。。我又怕不是那些人的对手，到昨天，我才发现原来是我白担心一场。

2500++ 人当中就有308人得4分。算起来有超过10%。开心得太早，10%的人得四分！！！四分是什么？？A 到完！！我看来看去都不觉得这里的学生酱厉害。华人才那140++，剩下的呢？？ 你跟我说200人得还差不多。就连那些平时不很厉害的人都能得满分。我突然觉得4分不是一件值得骄傲的事，好像随便那石头就能丢到4flat 的人。我突然明白为什么STPM 的人将讨厌matrik 的学生，因为很不公平。我宁愿我得不到4flat也不像要让那些成绩高人一等的人和一般的庸才的成绩一样。

还有，英文！！！ 一些连造一个没有语病的句子都有问题的人都能得甲！ 那些从小讲英文将到大的人只得个乙。这又是什么问题？？一个不用紧，问题是在很多人都是酱。虽然我也得个B， 但是我为那些英文好过我但得不到A的人不值。唉~~要帮也不用帮到酱出脸。

Happy Saturday...

Sok Kuan, Wan Qi, Guat Ting and I was going to Seremban 2 today. Due to i slept 3am the night berore, it needed me a lot of determonation to get out from my bed this morning. I started regret why the night before I followed them to watch movie till midnight... sign... no regret for what you have done before, just remind myself, it will be the first time and last time.

We were having our breakfast with uncle chia.. Uncle Chia invited us to eat 水鱼 and we invited uncle to eat toasted pork. The 'tortoise' is more like chicken or pork and it is delicious with a heavy herbal taste. haha....

We arrived at Seremban 2 at around 1045. after changing our cloth (from tracksuit ==> jeans short pants) we straight away went to green box without thinking twice. Guat Ting has the biggest voice among us.. She is more like shouting than singing... haha... after four hours marathon singing (suppose is three hours but because of green box no nid so much room at that moment, so we have one more hour). haha, Guat Ting can sing without mike and her voice can fight with the one with mike. hahahaha, she is going to mad right now.

Shopping is the most favourite activities for girls.. and so with me. I bought 2 singlet for myself (2 for RM20, when i saw this, i telling myself i will going to get this, haha, WORTH!!)

Thats all for today, we took a lot of photo. I think we will going to upload on the facebook (when the facebook is going well, sign) i am going to lend this computer to my friend now, they want to watch movie.............................................................

facebook!!! why cannot open??????

The facebook cannot open in this few days.... Walau eh,,, the y cannot open?? i really cannot tahan with the dumpness of the net in this kolej... really pekckek!!!!!!!!! urghhhhhhhhhhhh...

Holiday......

It has been a long time i do not write my blog again... haha.. lazy people like me will definitely has a excuse to write their blog... my first night mare in KMNS (our UPS) was over and i know i have to ready for the next one... But, i am watching and reading novel all the time... nvm lah... give myself some time to relax and i promise my self to work hard after school reopen....

Holiday, holiday, holiday... i keep on shopping for the first three days because my friends from other state come to Penang... haha.... i hope they can oso invite me to their house one day... just waiting for the invitation... after 3 day non-stop shopping, i start to read novel from internet... haha that kind of junk novel i oso feel interest.... haha rush for watching drama... continue tomorror....

No Water

Today and yesterday have no water... I can't even brush my teeth!!! And the worst thing is, when one person needs to do big business, he/she can't even flush!!!! Toilets are full of shit!!! Today when i went to toilet, I was surprised when I saw almost every slot of toilet have "CHOCOLATE"!!! It was very disgusting!!! Finally, I did not dare to use the toilet...

Today, Ju Enn and I went to sit at the second row of the dewan kuliah. This is because we know that we won't understand what the teacher says... But at last, we also learned nothing.. The teacher used Malay throughout the lecture.... Ju Enn and I didn't understand what did "jasad" mean.. So she asked the girl beside her.. Today, both of us learned a new Malay word: Jasad- object!!! What the hell is he using Malay to explain? not only us that not understood what he was talking, even some Malays they also didn't understand!!! And then his Malay pronunciations also like shit!!! It is like there are golds in his mouth- can't even open his mouth when he talks!!! I knew this is my self learned chapter... SPEECHLESS!!!!!

Rainy day

Today early in the morning we went to the damn boring and lame aerobic session... after that, the long winded teacher told us that today election was cancelled because we have enough candidates for the JPP... aihs....... then why they asked us to listen to the boring pidato last night??? Just doing useless thing... and then they didn't allow us to go back just for the cancelled election... luckily i'm not lives nearby.. if not, i'll be very angry... haha. Today six of us went to Seremban 2 to eat sushi at Sushi King. 6 of us had eaten RM 161.00. One of my friends had eaten sushi for RM30.00++. I was amazed with her eating style that no need to see the price first before she eat. And then we used a lot of time to decide whether wanted to watch a movie or go Green box karaoke. Finally, we did nothing but just loitered around at Jusco... And then at night, our block had a meeting with our felo. She was just wasting our by talking the thing that she had been told us at the orientation week.. She just repeated and repeated talking about something useless..... haish.......................

12-06-2010

Today is a quite relaxing day. Firstly, my physics kuliah cancelled because of the LCD rosak... so I ended my class at 11am. Then, I went back hostel to do my homework. At around 5.30pm, i and my friends ate my dinner at Hong Kong restaurant. But it rained heavily, and i have no choose but to run in the rain. so pity... and then we went to listen the pidato of our election's candidate. although i din even listen a single words because i stand outside, but i still clapped for them.. haha it's very funny to see someone clapped her hand looking at the wall and listen to nothing. I am just to make myself INVOLVE in the activity only... tomorrow is KMNS election day.. early in the morning all the student in the KMNS have to do aerobic (sorry, dnt know how to spell). and then we, kluster C AStudent have to wait until 12pm to make our vote. dnt know lah, wat ever they want to do, just let us outing tomorror and everything is ok ord..

life in KMNS

It had been a long time i did'nt open my blog.. This is the first blog i write in KMNS.. I cannot say all in facebook, so i write some here.. On the first week Orientation week, I felt that this is a terrible place for me.. but now, the situation change already. Because I fell that this is my own decision to come here, so i MUST enjoy the life here. I attend kuliah, tutorial, and amali until 5pm everyday. I have adapted myself here already, and i have a lot of good friends here. They support me and we are enjoy to be friend or most propably family here.. Haha... tomorror is friday, i only have class until 12pm. after that i gt a gay free time. wish that i can finish my homework lah...